I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
