Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
