my room smells like sperm. sweet.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
