Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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