Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
