You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
time to smoke my breakfast
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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