i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
