After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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