once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
