they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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