He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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