he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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