So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
