Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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