when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
