I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
