Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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