Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
