Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
