I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
