Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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