no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
