But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
