Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just found a bag of teeth...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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