I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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