Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
