Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
