My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
