what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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