I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
