Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
