Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
