i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
