I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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