belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
