I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize