then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
