Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
