So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
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