proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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