I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
