I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
