Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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