And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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