i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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