ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
