She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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