Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
