there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
