so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
