that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I could make wine with my vomit
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
