..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
